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What's Your Sign? And Would You Use It to Choose Your Food?

Six months after a major milestone birthday, I approach the new year, the new decade, and the second half of my life with one question: Where do I want to be ten years from now, and what do I need to do – day by day – to get there? This past week, I spent a full day pondering the height, depth, and weight of this question. I sketched timelines, drew charts, made lists and commited a 120-month plan to writing. And then, just to make sure I didn’t overlook anything, I checked my horoscope.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not a horoscope person. I don’t ever ask anyone, “What’s your sign?” I don’t know the difference between my ruling planet and my ruling house. And I don’t believe that the alignment of our solar system has any effect whatsoever on my career, my finances, or my love life. I also don’t like that my zodiac sign is the name of a dreaded disease and that its symbol is a word that, in the singular, is synonymous with “grouch,” and, in the plural, is slang for "lice infestation."

But, I – and maybe even you –  have to admit that a well-written, uncannily relevant horoscope can be fun. Informative. Maybe even influential.

One of my favorite online astrology sites is Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny. Brezsny has a knack for inserting an appropriate message into almost every one of his horoscopes. Get a load of what he says this week about Cancerians, like me:

"I think everyone should always have an improbable quest playing at the edges of their imagination -- you know, some heroic task that provokes deep thoughts and rouses noble passions even if it also incites smoldering torment. I'm talking about an extravagant dream that's perhaps a bit farfetched but not entirely insane; a goal that constantly rouses you to stretch your possibilities and open your mind further… The coming year would be an excellent time to keep such an adventure at the forefront of your awareness."

Of course, this is a perfect example of how a horoscope can apply to just about everybody; at this time of year, there are many of us intent on creating goals, if not "heroic tasks" or "an extravagant dream." But still. That doesn't diminish the power of his advice, especially as it relates to that 10-year plan that I’ve been working on.

Do you know there is also food astrology? (You were wondering when I was going to bring this back to a discussion about food, right?) Several astrology sites offer suggestions for what foods to eat, based on your sign. For example, Horoscope.com says this week Cancers should eat “hearty, nurturing food,” like Chicken Marabella, made with “prunes, olives and capers for a unique taste.” Tauruses are advised to try Russian skillet stroganoff with celeriac and walnut gratin; and Capricorns should have Brussels sprouts and chestnuts. More signs and their food suggestions can be found here.

LifePsychic.com offers “food profiles” that include ideal foods, foods that help fight certain “disorders,” and foods to avoid. For Cancerians, ideal foods include whole grain rye, yogurt, watercress, beets (my favorite!) oysters (Bill Marler would not approve) and fish. Foods to help with my “skin disorders” and “inflammation of the stomach” include kale and okra. And foods to avoid altogether include sugar, salt, starches, and anything too spicy. (What? No Mexican? No Thai? No way!) Learn more about your sign’s food profile here.

FindYourFate.com advises us crabs to eat lots of steamed vegetables, plus beans and fruit, and to eliminate oily foods, dairy, yeasts, breads and salt from our diets. It also says we tend to “have a delicate stomach and digestive problems… prone to ulcers, gall bladder upsets, gas pains, nausea and gastritis.” (Wrong. I have none of that, thank heaven!) We also tend to “overindulge in wine and alcohol,” which we don’t tolerate well. (It's right about that don’t-tolerate-well part.) Each sign is outlined in great detail; click here to read what it says about yours.

Finally, although we’re not an astrology site, Simple Good and Tasty is here to help inform your food choices for the next 12 months and beyond. Come back often for advice about the best foods to eat and the best places to find them. And I promise: the only time we’ll use the word “cancer” is when we’re talking about foods that help you prevent it; and the only time we’ll mention “crab” is when it’s an ingredient in a seafood dish. On that, you can bet your ruling house.